im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I did not marry a roomba.
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