So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
