Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
