the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
