brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
