I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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