I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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