Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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