Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Its about making memories worth repressing
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
