i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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