Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
