my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
