Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
