There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
