He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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