____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
