Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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