Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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