and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
