well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
