discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
