You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Come on in and take your pants off
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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