I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
