Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I showed him my bush... on skype.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
