I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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