I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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