Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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