just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
