I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Randomize
