No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
