he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
