I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
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