not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This toilet bowl is my home.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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