she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
