We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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