im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
