covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
