You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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