I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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