you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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