I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
