so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
