I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize