I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
