We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
