I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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