I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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