Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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