My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
you made out with another girl for some wings
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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