I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize