so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
