..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
