Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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