community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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